Driven to Insanity

Who wouldn’t want to be part of something named the “Mad Bastard Scooter Rally”? I suppose if you actually were a mad bastard, you may find it a bit offensive. For the rest of us, we'll head to Guelph, Ontario to take part in the bi-annual MBSR, on from Friday June 19 to Sunday June 21, 2015.

It's a 600 km ride where participants collect Mad Points along the way for such things as dressing up themselves and their scooter, collecting clues, solving puzzles, taking crazy photos, etc. Even though there are no losers, there will be a winner! The grand prize is a brand new KYMCO scooter! Kicking things off this year is a Tailgate Party, held on the Friday. Participants are also encouraged to raise money for the Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Guelph, showing that you can have fun while helping others (here’s a shameless plug for my donation page).

I’ll be participating on my 49cc 2005 Honda Jazz Scooter (I’m not man enough to handle 50cc’s) which puts me in the “Straitjacket” class allowing me 24 hours to complete the 600 km route. Larger scooters have a reduced window, as little as 16 hours for 200 cc’s and greater.

So what brings me to the Mad Bastard Scooter Rally?

My attraction to the MBSR is its utter absurdity. Even the name is absurd! Imagine a grown man dressing up as Darth Vader riding a scooter with a top speed of 60 kph to complete a 600 km route. Assuming the route is all downhill without a headwind and I never have to stop for a red light, gas, lunch or a pee break, it would still take 10 straight hours!  Ironically, this won’t be my first time dressing up myself and my scooter.

Besides the absurdity, I also love long road trips – for instance, last year I rode from Markham, Ontario to Newport, Kentucky in one day. Oh, I should mention at this point that I also ride a Honda CBR 1000RR… Spending long hours on two wheels is nothing new and in fact, I find it enjoyable. 

In addition, I love creativity so I’m looking forward to seeing all the individual and team themes, costumes and done-up scooters.

Hanging out with other two wheel enthusiasts is another pastime of mine. On a given weeknight, you might find me at a bike night around the Greater Toronto Area. At the moment I don’t know any other participants, but I’m sure I’ll leave with at least a couple of people I can call friends.

Finally, the stories. You cannot simply show up to something called the “Mad Bastard Scooter Rally,” ride for up to 24 hours without having some crazy stories.  My friends Matt and Darlene rode 2-up on a 49cc scooter in the 2013 MBSR and were pulled over by the OPP for going 10kph in an 80kph zone. Not 10 over, just 10kph.

Follow the MBSR in all it’s social media glory:

Website: www.madbastardrally.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/madbastardrally

YouTube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKGkmwI5LeU

Instagram: @madbastardscooterrally

Twitter: @MadBastardRally

P.S. It’s very fitting that the Mad Bastard Scooter Rally is held only on “odd” years.

************* UPDATE: The rally was a great success! All the participants are accounted for and (most) are looking to the 2017 edition. Check out the map below to see just what these Mad Bastards went through! *************

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